Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
