I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
