If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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