Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
