I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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