And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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