K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I want to fling myself into the sun
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
