Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
