rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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