Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
