We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
