I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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