how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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