So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
