I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
