But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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