Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
