Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
