chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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