I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
