shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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