are you still at the devil's house?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
