btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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