Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
