dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
