Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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