Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
