9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
