ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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