Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
