so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
