come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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