haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My bed smells like the plague
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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