i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
