I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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