i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
