You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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