I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
