she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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