turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
