So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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