well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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