u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
