Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
