I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
