In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
