Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
