so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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