Where is the hickey?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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