her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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